16 Truths in Dealing with Sober Reality

The hard part about sobriety is that you have to deal with life and other people as they really are, and you have to do this SOBER!

I’ve found the following to be true for me:

  1. It hasn’t gotten much easier.
  2. Most people are pretty boring – having said that, I do make a game out of it to spice it up and do usually find out interesting things about people or myself.
  3. I have little tolerance for annoying people – this has always been the case, but the level of annoying-ness soars when I’m sober, especially when the irritating party is drinking.
  4. I have little tolerance for people who don’t follow through with their own goals – I am so damn proud of myself for being able to do this day in and day out, I really don’t understand people who refuse to change their lives for the better. My lack of understanding surely leads to the intolerance, I’ll admit. Sure, we all get comfortable being uncomfortable at times, but I don’t get these people: People who bitch about being fat and do little about it just baffle my mind; People who hate their job, but don’t even look for a new one, willing to just be miserable for their short, precious lives; People who make New Years resolutions. Seriously, they’re kidding themselves if they wait to do it; People who drink all the way to the front door of rehab…you know that’s not going to end well. If you really wanted it, you’d start right this moment. Everyone wants a simple fix and no one wants to work hard for what they want. This is why I admire other sober people and want to know more of them, because it would be so easy to just take that first drink, but every minute of every day has a purpose, to stay sober…and then every other minute finds a new, more meaningful purpose. We do things on purpose, is what I am getting at. I like that. In the words of good ‘ol Hitch, “Begin each day as if it were on purpose.”
  5. My problems are still here, only they’re easier to work through.
  6. I know who my true friends are.
  7. Most functions are pretty boring – I make a game out of these, too. I have to, living with my social butterfly of a husband. My social anxiety doesn’t help, but sure does set the stage for some challenging interactions, which then elude the boring-ness, but make me a nervous wreck!
  8. Most functions include alcohol – true dat!
  9. Drunk people are obnoxious idiots – I am usually not around for this phase anymore, but on the lucky occasion I happen to be, they either disgust me, make me oh so grateful that I am who I am, or sometimes they are actually funny…at their expense, of course.
  10. I have zero tolerance for drinking and driving – ZERO.
  11. I’m more aware of my surroundings.
  12. It’s hard for me to relax and unwind – this is a bothersome one because relaxation is the essence of life. The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it. Massages work tremendously well, but I don’t have the money, or I’d have one weekly. Working out does help. What I really want is the ability to better recognize when I’m in the middle of a crazy anxious frenzy (this happens daily and is on some level a panick attack, I believe), so I can take a deep breath and calm myself down somehow. Funny how relaxation doesn’t seem to come to me naturally.
  13. I am responsible for myself and answer only to myself.
  14. I remember what happened the night before – usually. I blame my current memory lapses on being a baby momma.
  15. I remember every sporting event I go to – not many people I know can say that!
  16. My bonds with some of my family and friends are stronger and more meaningful .
  17. Waking up clear-headed is an amazing way to start out the day.
  18. I still dream of getting trashed one day without consequence – it would be so nice to kick back with a few cold ones and let my brain get a little fuzzy while my worries and cares just drifted away for an afternoon…
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“For the flavor of it” – gimme a break! This alcoholic’s not buying it!

Why do people have “just one drink?” – ah yes, “for the flavor of it.”

The next time someone says that to me, I am seriously going to junk punch them. Alcohol is designed to affect the brain and give the user a sense of pleasure. That’s the beauty of it, really. So I’m not buying it if you have “just one drink” at dinner or after work. If you like the flavor of it, have a non-alcoholic beer or non-alcoholic wine…they taste similar. Do they think it’s a bad thing to want the alcohol to have even the smallest of effects on them, which only one drink certainly will? It’s not a bad thing at all. It’s only when you can’t control how much you consume, or do stupid shit when under the influence that it becomes a problem (that’s certainly not the definition of an alcoholic, but you get my gist).

A “drink” is either one shot of liquor, a five-ounce glass of wine or one beer, all of which contain the same amount of alcohol, pretty much. At the .02 blood alcohol concentration level, experiments have demonstrated that people exhibit some loss of judgment and begin to relax and feel good. But tests have also shown that drivers at the .02 level experience a decline in visual functions, affecting their ability to track a moving object, and experience a decline in the ability to perform two tasks at the same time. These changes may be very subtle and barely noticeable to the person who has had only one drink, but in an emergency situation while behind the wheel of a vehicle, they could cause the driver to react (or not react) as they would without having had a drink. I thought it was worth mention, but I will cover drinking and driving in a future post. Just for the record, the only safe driving limit is .00 percent.

So all of those ridiculous people out there saying they have a drink “for the flavor of it” are lying to themselves. Self awareness is key, people. If you can’t admit to yourself that you like the effect a glass of wine has on you, what the hell else can’t you admit? If you’re trying to sugar coat it so as not to offend me, too late. Sometimes I never ever want to bear witness to another drop being consumed by anyone. Not because I assume they have a problem or because I’m jealous they don’t have a problem…well, it could be one those things, BUT I just don’t enjoy being surrounded by it day after day, having to constantly go through this turmoil inside, where I don’t seem to fit into this world anymore. MY world! It makes me mad that normal people take having “just one drink” so lightly, when that one drink for me signifies failure, regret and the end of life as I know it.

Don’t ever tell me you’re having that beer just because you love the taste. Be who you are and I’ll be who I am. You don’t need to censor yourself, making you look like a complete idiot in my eyes. It does more harm than good to try to shield or protect me, if that’s the case.

PS: If you have one glass of wine every day for an entire year, you are adding 54750 calories to your diet. This totals to about 15 pounds of extra calories. Drink up, fatty.

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