I am sober. For over 6 years now. It’s truly been an amazing journey and totally defines me. I haven’t reached out to many and have had little support as far as surrounding myself with people like me. So I started a blog. My goals with this blog are simple:
- Get some of this crap out of my head and heart
- Potentially inspire a fellow boozer to get sober
- Shed some light on the subject for those who know a drunk like me
- Provide a little insight into my journey for those who love me
- Feel less isolated
I was born into an alcoholic family. They all made drinking look like such a natural, necessary, fun part of life. I’ll briefly paint a picture:
- We camped a lot. My heat-packing uncles would get completely trashed and take us on long, dangerous ATV trips, while blazing trails through the woods with their chain saws. I can’t believe we all came back in one piece, however I do vaguely remember a few minor injuries from crashes into trees. I am over the ATVs, but guns and booze really freak me out. The nights always ended next to a rip-roaring fire with country music blaring, while everyone partied it up with beer, tequila and Everclear. I probably didn’t know the half of what was going on back then. I wouldn’t change these experiences for anything, but this just shows how my environment was saturated with drunks.
- While driving around with my dad in my early elementary years, he would regularly stop behind the local Bargain Beverage store to take a piss after he’d purchased his next round of Budweiser 40 ouncers. This was totally normal to me.
- At the Rodeo every summer, the kids would sit just outside of the beer garden while the adults got hammered and disorderly inside. I couldn’t wait to be old enough to be with them. It was like a coming-of-age thing. Only now when I look back, I really just wanted to be having fun with my family, rather than watching from afar.
- Christmas was always full of loud voices and commotion everywhere; a drunken, rowdy event that created a glowing illusion of togetherness for me.
- Booze was everywhere. It seemed to be the focal point for every event and every non-event.
I really didn’t stand a chance. Surprisingly, I was a late bloomer and didn’t have my first real drink until I was 17. By the time I was 19, I consciously realized that at some point I would have to completely stop drinking. I then decided that I had better get the most of it and not waste any time. And so my drinking career began…and lasted for 10 more years.
Chrystal!
I am so very proud of you as my cousin, even though we have not been around each other much, but only as a young children (due to our 11 yrs differnce). I’ve read your journey & coming from a family with alcohol abuse, child abuse or drugs, made me make the choices not to repeat what I saw as roll models as a kid. I can really and truly understand your pain, as I never went down the path you took, but I am too a survivor of child/sexual abuse. I believe that there is a real reason we end up on this so called crooked path in our life’s journey, I have been on one for many years. I have come to understand that this crazy whacked out journey I was put on like you, yourself was because we can handle anything that life throws at us. We have made the choices to stand up for ourselves and make the change. Girl, I am one proud cousin to say you are an amazing cousin, woman, daughter, wife and mother! Keep up this great journey you are doing, because you know that you are making a difference in someone’s life every day with your blog & to be open and honest about your journey is AMAZING, not many people can actually stand up and say, “Hi I am an alcoholic” in front of people, let alone on a public forum… YOU GO GIRL!
Thank you!!! This whole “going public” thing just may keep me from crawling into a dark cave! It’s amazing to realize the support that’s out there! Thanks again.
Im currently in the process of starting a major ecommerce site toward promoting sobriety. Those who are alcoholic, and those who choose sobriety themselves. The site is a blog, forum, and all around networking tool. I am looking for intelligent young people to help build my community. I currently am working with a leading design firm in NY to properly develop the site. Please drop me a email if you are interested for more information.
Congrats on 6 years!