10 tips for staying sober through the holidays (and enjoying it)

Staying Sober throught the HolidaysThe holidays are hard. Sobriety is harder. Throw ’em together and get ready for a potential shit show.

Whether you’re anticipating a family gathering at the nut house, experiencing feelings of loss, dealing with holiday pressures, or all the above, you’ve got this. I am navigating my way through these emotions with my sobriety intact and am even enjoying myself. Sometimes I’m not sure how I’m doing this, but here’s what I think I know…

If I succumb to these feelings for too long – stress, darkness, temptation, isolation, pressure, loss – I’m lurking in the danger zone. If I push them away, I slowly dig myself a hole.  So, it’s a balancing act.

Consider the following advice to help keep your hard-earned sobriety unscathed, and actually enjoy the season.

 

 

10 tips for staying sober through the holidays (and enjoying it)

  1. Pay attention to your health.

    Get enough sleep, don’t eat like shit, move your body, and relax your mind. Instead of sitting on the couch to watch TV, lay on the floor and stretch. Park your car further away. Write in a journal. If you don’t like to journal, write FUCK 20 times. Helps me, but I’m a little twisted. Stay away from too much sugar. Sugar is the devil. Be nice to yourself. Be nice to others. Do shit that makes you feel more alive. Every bit of intention helps you take care of you, physically and mentally, and it all adds up.

  2. Don’t isolate.

    Loneliness sucks and is a HUGE trigger. Remember, you don’t have to feel alone. Reach out if you need some help. It doesn’t have to be intense, either – simply ask your checker at the grocery store how their day is going, or smile at a stranger – they might need it and in turn you’ll feel a bit more connected. If you must go into a cave, be productive with it – read, do a hobby, take a bath, put on an inspirational flick like 28 days with Sandra Bullock – she’s hot AND sober. Reach out to sober friends, trusted family members, or me (soberchrystal@gmail.com). Resist the urge to pull away and shut down.

  3. Let the pressure go.

    Do what you can and do what you want. Don’t worry if you’re broke. Screw the crowds – Amazon rocks. It’s ok if you aren’t feeling creative. Don’t give what you don’t have. All anyone, who matters, really wants is your time. And if you don’t have that, write them an I Owe You! Happy holidays! Deep breath.

  4. Keep your distance from triggering relatives.

    If you can’t keep your distance, just be grateful you won’t get wasted and cause trouble this year. Be thankful that you are you. Take deep breaths. Take a time out. Because, YOU are most important and you need to do whatever it takes to protect your sobriety. Your sobriety is everything. No apologies.

  5. Realize – no one cares what’s in your cup.

    If someone DOES care what’s in your cup, they’re obviously an idiot and quite possibly a drunk. There are grown adults who act like peer-pressuring knuckleheads, therefore making life a little more interesting for us. But, screw what people think about you – you get to decide who and what matters. If you’re around people who are drinking, stay away from opened containers and make your own secret game out of it. Experiment with an exciting new non-alcoholic concoction. It’s not what’s in the glass that’s important. But, you already knew that.

  6. Plan ahead.

    Don’t get into situations you can avoid. But, if you have to go to an office party, for instance, have an escape route. Go late and leave early. Take a sober friend. Or skip it altogether. A party will not make or break you. If your family is the type that begins their Xmas with mimosas, either make your own bubbly goodness (San Pellegrino and pomegranate juice is bomb), put a “magic” coin or rock in your pocket and stroke the hell out of that shit, or get the hell out of there. Do whatever it takes, but have a few scenarios planned out and ready to roll. Have some inspirational quotes saved on your phone for reference.

  7. Keep your head held high .

    During those “in-genuine” moments – when drunks, with glowing auras and booze breath, tell you how impressive you are with that sobriety you’ve got going on. When you find yourself chatting with people who are lit up like old Vegas. I tend to lose my grounding and sense of security, perpetuating my isolation. I struggle with remaining true, honest, and transparent, while protecting myself from a potential threat. This remains one of my largest challenges. But, I hold my head high because I know who I am and I don’t compromise myself. I used to approach those conversations as a waste of time, but they’re actually quite liberating.

  8. Hold your memories close.

    The holidays always remind me more of the people I’ve lost along the way. A wrinkly old woman with dangly earrings looking for presents to buy her loved ones in Fred Meyer equals breakdown material. I’m flooded with memories of Grandma at almost every turn. Grandma loved  watching me decorate her house for Christmas and singing along while I played music on the piano. She loved making sure EVERYONE had presents to open. My grandma was my biggest source of self-esteem as a child – she embodied the spirit of the season of giving, hope, and love all year. So, I allow myself a few good tears and then I move on. She’s not here and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m lucky to have had those precious moments with her. As a result, I feel that glowing warmth in my heart that she left with me.

  9. Harness that good ‘ol holiday spirit.

    Find gratitude in every moment that you can, even the crazy ones. Keep a list of your blessings in your pocket to read in those tough situations. Spread the love spending time with people who inspire, encourage, and support you. Go through your closet and give the homeless some new duds. Send $20 to your local animal shelter. Whatever it is that makes you feel like you’re giving back, do it.

  10. See how far you’ve come.

    If you need to write this on the inside of your wrist, do it – I am worth it. Your sobriety is everything. You are incredibly brave, strong, and inspirational. Protect all that you’ve achieved. You are kind of a big deal. You continue to make the choice to be a better you every second of every hour of every damn day. And while it may seem like others might not get it, I sure as hell do. We are fucking amazing.

Happy holidays my sober friends. May you stay strong and sober this holiday season and be reminded of just how amazing and special you truly are. The new year with its abundance of opportunities and challenges is quickly approaching!

Wishing all of my non-sober friends happy holidays, too! Please please PLEASE don’t drink and drive.

With love,

Chrystal

‘Tis the season to get shit-faced – staying sober through the holidays

‘Tis the season to get shit-faced! The holidays – between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve in the US – can be one of the most dangerous times of the year for those of us who are trying to maintain sobriety. It can be a time of happiness and celebration, a time of pain and desperation or a little bit of both – all of which are equally good reasons to get drunk. This is also a time where drinking is not only more accepted, it almost seems to be expected. It’s hardly surprising that so many people indulge in seasonal binge-drinking. Throw us sober folks into the mix and it’s a perfect storm.

The good stuff

This time of year makes me feel warm and fuzzy for so many reasons – the warmth I feel from within, the twinkling lights that surround me, the gratefulness I feel toward the people who touch my heart and the giving-ness I feel toward complete strangers – that’s powerful stuff! Every time I hear the song, O holy night, I get serious goose bumps and a feeling I can’t quite explain – and I’m a “non-believer!” My point is, for many reasons this season tends to make the world around us seem a bit brighter, warmer, more magical, giving, and hopeful.

The other stuff

For many of us, this isn’t necessarily a happy-go-lucky time of year. It’s a time to reflect on our lives and what’s missing from them – lost loves, lost money, lost dreams.

If you’re anything like me though, you may tend to get depressed no matter how wonderful life may be. I do believe that you can’t truly know one extreme without the other; stars can’t shine without the darkness. I’ve been low. I’ve experienced devastating losses. I’ve been lonely, scared, dark and broken. I’m grateful for those experiences now because I’d never known joy could be so peaceful, passionate, warm, uplifting and all-encompassing. Having said that, often when I’m in those moments of joy, I’m suddenly reminded of the people I’ve lost, with whom I’d love to share those moments. The awareness of those losses is the ickiest part for me.

Also at the tip of our minds may be money, or lack thereof – this is the time of giving. There’s so much pressure on us to buy shit, it’s ridiculous.

It’s easy to lose hope without a supportive family and/or environment. A bad attitude will bring you down, too. Isolation is a common theme for many of us sober folks and this time of year it seems to have a magnetic effect. I am so happy to report that MY ENTIRE FAMILY IS SOBER! How awesome is that?! (My husband and mom don’t count, as they can have just one or two drinks and call it a day – non-alcoholic freaks!) I feel such a tight bond with my dad and my brother, especially this year. Even my sister-in-law is sober! We are not only family, but it feels like we are part of an elite club. A club so many won’t ever understand and that so many could only imagine having the balls to join. If you’re in our club, you know what I mean and you should be damn proud of yourself.

Just don’t do it

Succumb to these seasonal feelings of darkness – isolation, pressure, loss – and you’re lurking in the danger zone. But would the world really end if you had just one? Sometimes I entertain the idea of having just one White Russian to honor my grandma’s memory. She too, was a boozer after all. And we sure do have good memories from our drinking days, don’t we? That general feeling of togetherness is what I miss the most. But we must remember where it ultimately led us – one drink and we’d be there, only worse this time. It’d be the end of life as we know it. At least that’s how I see it.

Please consider the following advice to help keep your hard-earned sobriety intact throughout the remainder of this season:

  1. Focus on your health. Get enough sleep, eat well and relax.
  2. Remember, you’re not alone. Don’t isolate yourself with the hopes of staying sober – loneliness is a HUGE trigger. Reach out if you need the help. If you’re worried about your pride or looking like a pussy, it’s too late – you’re already an alcoholic, so just get over it. Must. Stay. Sober.
  3. Let the pressure go. Do what you can and want to do. Set aside an evening to shop online instead of venturing out into the madness; Amazon rocks. Leave the cookie making to someone else this year. Don’t make that grueling 5 hour drive just to see people you’d rather see on Skype. Making others happy is certainly one thing, but when you’re compromising your own happiness, it’s just not worth it. Do something different. Or don’t do anything at all. Just let it go and do your own thing this year.
  4. Keep your distance from any annoying relatives, if you can. If you can’t, just be grateful there’s no chance you’ll get wasted and try to beat their face in or tell them how you really feel. Don’t let their idiocy ruin your cool, sober vibe.
  5. Plan ahead. Don’t get into those situations that you can avoid, but if you have to go to an office party, for instance, have an escape route. Or go late and leave early, no one notices or cares how long you’re there.
  6. Make it count. If you’re like me, a bit of an anxious introvert, and you’re feeling nervous or awkward about attending an event, just don’t go. It’s better to be sober and at home, than to be uncomfortable, on-edge and potentially tempted. Only you can protect your sobriety.
  7. Remember – No one cares if you’re drinking or not. If they DO care, they’re obviously retarded and you can feel free to junk punch them. Screw what people think about you – you get to decide who matters.
  8. Believe – It’s not what’s in the glass that’s important; it’s what’s in your heart.
  9. Realize – Taking one drink is like jumping out of a plane without a parachute. It will cost you everything, my friend.
  10. Remind yourself and be very proud of just how far you’ve come. Your sobriety is everything! You are worth it.

Happy holidays my sober friends. May you stay strong and sober this holiday season and be reminded of just how amazing and special you truly are. 2013 and its abundance of opportunities and challenges is quickly approaching!

A special note to my friends who DO drink, please Please PLEASE remember the following:

  • Plan ahead – designate a sober driver THAT YOU CAN TRUST
  • Buzzed driving is drunk driving and you know I’m right, so just nutt up and leave your stupid car while you take a cab home. Choose inconvenience over jail or death. You started it anyway, by either being unprepared or by being a lush, you jackass.
  • Don’t EVER tell me how proud of me you are when you’ve been drinking…it makes me want to poke your eyes out and dropkick your head…just had to throw that one out there…